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IGNATIOUS NJOBVU
Whether we like it or not the world is transforming, especially in matters concerning human relations. Of particular interest, is the transformation in the patriarchy arrangement of things. Most of us have been brought up believing that being a good provider means supporting a family financially. A man was defined by how much money he did amass for his wife and children. In a number of ways, a woman played the supporting partner to her man. A man would always find ready-cooked food, ironed cloths and everything was always ready for him to go execute his duties well and by extension providing for his family financially. This kind of arrangement between a man and his woman existed for centuries until now when we are experiencing some changes.
Today’s relationships are different. Women are empowered. Women are furthering their education and pursuing their careers more and more. They have become more creative in their professions, attracting huge salaries in the process. The business world today is heavily hinged to the capabilities of women. Women empowerment is further exacerbated by the various universal statutes which are geared towards uplifting women. Many institutions for example have ‘quarters’ reserved for women. This includes financial grants. To a larger extend, this has enabled women to compete for business opportunities with their male counterparts. Some even thrive much better in their business because they possess other soft skills necessary to make it in the business world.
The transformations that are happening have triggered for some changes in the manner in which a man can relate to a woman. Truth be told, a man can no longer expect his woman to have a meal ready by the time he arrives from work because they might probably just arrive at the same time. A man can no longer afford to relax after arrival hoping that his woman (who might just have arrived as well) would start running around the house to prepare a meal and some warm water for him to eat and bath. And most definitely, a man can no longer expect a tired woman to perform wonders in the bedroom after her hectic schedule at work. In all honest, these changes are still not seating well with the male upbringing. I even wonder if women themselves are psychologically ready for what is currently happening. The truth is that being empowered as a woman is one of the most important things that can happen in our society right now because women are the carriers of the culture and predominantly the primary care givers. How and what woman teach our young girls and boys, is reflected in the society we exist in (Tiffany Kelly, 2017). There is no tool for development more effective than the empowerment of women (Kofi Annan).
More important than financial or professional achievement, a 21st century man is defined as having personal success with his family. Today’s man defines strength as having character and integrity above physical and financial dominance. Otherwise such a definition would greatly reduce the integrity of a man in the event that his woman is financially dominant. That being said, we need to ask ourselves if indeed such changes are in consonant with the natural order of a man-woman relationship. Allow me to be brutally honest with my view, which might not necessarily be a fact. My almost 40 years’ experience as a man tells me that women need more than just ‘attention’ from their male partners. I believe that financial security is one very important factor that a woman looks for in a man. Most certainly, experience and statistics has proven that. In addition to that, many relationships founded on such an arrangement prove to last forever. It is my view that as men and as women, we are naturally gifted differently. A man is naturally a risk taker. A woman is naturally a teacher of love and care. These differences in character are what should complement a man and a woman. My suspicion is that women had a change of heart in the course of time. I suspect that men subjected women to lots of abuse including neglecting their financial obligations towards their women. For some time now, women have been left to fend for themselves and their children. Their male partners would have vanished without trace. These type of experiences force women to perceive men as mere partners and not family financial providers, hence the need for them to pursue their own careers.
As men therefore, we need to work hard for our families. We need to show care to our wives/girlfriends by financially supporting them. By so doing, women will pray and hope that we succeed as men knowing fully well that our success is their success by extension. Women automatically submit to any man who provide financial security and does not subject her to abuse. If you can do that as a man, I can assure you that a ready-cooked, warm meal will always be available for you.
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